Tips on how to get over a Breakup
by Dibakar Bala
I know how it feels. And believe it or not, most of the people around you knows it too. Because almost everyone in their lifetime had gone through a severe heartbreak. On that note, it is important to ensure what kind of a HeartBreak are we actually talking about here?
I am not only talking about heartbreaks which are caused by your Lover, Girlfriend or Boyfriend. Not even just including heartbreaks due to someone from your family members like Parents, Spouse, Children or Siblings. Here in this article, I am referring each and everyone who had felt being cheated, betrayed or hurt due to anyone close to their heart despite any mortal relationship in existence with the person or whatsoever. How much does that include? Everyone in your life with whom you’ve developed an emotional relationship at any level. Friends, Family, Teachers, Workers, Lovers, Employee, Employer, etc. whoever had made their way to your heart is to be kept in mind while reading the following article.
Here it is important to mention that I am not a professional psychologist or a psychiatrist or any kind of a person whose opinion has to be judged or accepted as the correct methodology. Not just this article but each and every article written by me is merely an attempt to guide you by sharing my own life experiences without trying to preach anything or anyone in any manner.
- Firstly, do not keep it to yourself. Always try to seek the second best person ( considering the best person in your life has broken your heart ) of your life at any cost and share everything with him or her. This might be your Mother, Father, sibling, friend, best friend, lover or even your grandparents. This might sound crazy but most people have full knowledge and ability to solve their own problem. At times, all you need is an unbiased pair of ears to reflect your own situation. I do not ignore the importance and vitality of doctors while dealing with heartbreaks or any such similar delicate situation. Yet it is true that many people fail to recognize that one person and end up paying heavy fees to the doctors who are nothing but a ‘paid-version’ of the same old school ‘unbiased pair of ears’. [ Hopefully, soon I would come up with an article which will share how to avoid the pain of heartbreak totally without anyone’s help ]
- HeartBreaks are a great source of strong emotion. I do not deny the fact that heartbreak is a very very strong negative emotion but it is possible to channelize the same to achieve greatness in life. No, I am not faking and neither am I joking. Science and History ( and how can we forget spirituality ) has numerous proofs and real life examples of people who had achieved their maximum potential during their heartbreak. So, if you’re going through a heartbreak and not utilizing its energy enough, trust me, buddy, you may be missing the chance to become the next ‘ Billionaire ‘. I know you still don’t believe me. Here are few names for your mental satisfaction: – Adele, Amy Winehouse, Edvard Munch, Joni Mitchell and many more.
Now you must be wondering how to convert a strong negative emotion into a positive fruitful emotion. Truthfully even if there’s a perfect recipe for this I never came across it. What I’ll share with you is a self-tried and tested method.
A. If you ever had a breakup means you were extremely passionate and devoted to someone? False? Skip to point 3 below. True? Keep Reading…
B. It is very unlikely for a Person who is passionate about someone not to be passionate about something ever in their life. Yes, call it your hobby or maybe even your job or your education. It can be anything as long as it makes your creative muscles work. Painting, Singing, Writing, Swimming, Dancing, Scientific Research, Mathematical Problem Solving, Programming ( a.k.a. Coding ) or whatever… And now the last step
C. Whenever your mind starts to go down the memory lane to experience the pain once again – hold it right there. Don’t replace your thoughts but occupy your Brain and your hands with ‘ that one thing ‘ about which you are highly passionate. Now let the mind wander down the memory lane and vent out your emotions into your work. Churn and Repeat! Even if this doesn’t convert you into a billionaire, this will surely craft out the best version of you in future.
- Although my academic records will speak differently but trust me, I literally hate to read. Reading any kind of book is just not ‘Me’. Blame my childhood where I loved to cook, paint the house and even water the garden plants with my mother. Despite having so much hatred, reading is what I did when I had a Heart Break in my life. No, I am not talking about reading fictional stories like Harry Potter or Twilight Saga ( although I love the second one ). Neither I am asking you to solve mathematical problems from M.L. Khanna ( I feel your pain if you know who is he ).
“READ REAL LIFE STORIES ”
Stories of people who made it big in your field or study. Story of Freedom Fighters. Story of Scientists or even Cricketers ( Books not movies ). I know you are not interested to know about what did I read when I was going through a heart break, so I won’t bore you sharing it. Just a small info, the book I read was about the struggle and success of women who made it big in life.
- If a relationship breakup is the reason behind your heartbreak, neither have the intention of ‘ Ek Tarfa Pyaar Ki Takat Hi Kuch Aur Hoti Hai ‘ ( one-sided lover – credits FILM :- Ae Dil Hai Mushkil ), nor listen to songs like ‘ Main Phir Bhi Tum Ko Chahunga ‘ ( credits Arjit Singh : – Half Girlfriend ). You are free to listen to breakup songs, well it is good to delve deep into your emotions at times. Plus, that’s the reason such song exists. But clinging on to an imaginary expectation is fatal. If you ask me ‘ then why does such song or movies exist ‘. Because a huge chuck of the entertainment industry is inspired by real life experiences so that more and more people can relate to such situations. In other words, many people actually commit the mistake of clinging onto the imaginary world. Never ever do that. If you really want to follow a trend, follow these words:-
” MOVE ON ”
And I will kill you if you think ‘ move on ‘ means go and move into another relationship as soon as possible, just to realise it to be another wrong decision ending up doing exactly what someone else did to you. Rather ‘ Move On ‘ towards reality, the bigger picture of life. Meet new people, socialise, make new friends. Decide, what you want to be remembered for in this world.
Well I can go on and on talking about it. But I want to cut it short before it starts to get boring. If you had loved what you read, press the Red-coloured bell placed on lower right corner of your screen. It will help you get notified whenever this site gets a new article based update. Bye!
Btw, I’ve made a collection of Bible Verses about Breakups that works perfectly as a supplementary material to their kitty. https://dibakarbala.com/bible-verses-for-breakups/
June 23, 2019
June 4, 2019